Monday, December 30, 2013

Mama-on-Days: Tales from the Elf

Last year I bought an Elf on the Shelf.  We named it....something.  I forgot to write it down.  I lost it for about 2 1/2 weeks.  We have a little miniature pinscher and I spent my days running in the room before the Biscuit glancing frantically around for plastic bits of elf remains.

About a week before Christmas I found him sitting on the wreath where I'd left him weeks ago.  It's pretty bad when you can't even keep track of a little Elf in your house.  But I was glad that I didn't find his dead elf carcass because he cost me 29.99 and that's a lot of money to pay for a dog toy.

This year I started hearing rumors of Elf on the Shelf calendars and that PINTEREST was where to go to get Elf on the shelf ideas.  These are the CUTEST ideas I've ever seen-little Elf's in a bubble bath, a little Elf flying across the room, an Elf with a stick roasting marshmallows over a battery operated candle.  There are even whole Pinterest boards devoted to "naughty" Elf on the shelf ideas.  

Pinterest had me at the elf in a bubble bath.  I was in.  And then I wasn't.  Once you step foot into this Elf territory there's no way you can go back to just hanging him from different door knobs in your house.  OR lose him for 2 weeks.  Could I commit to reenacting fanciful elf scenarios for the next 10 years or so? How would I top the Elf in the bathtub scene? 

In the end my Pinterest obsession won out.  I set up a calendar with a bunch of fantastic Elf ideas and bought mini and jumbo sized marshmallows.

Week one:  I am not nearly as good at the Elf scenarios as the pictures I've seen online.  They all look vaguely disturbing.  Luckily for me, the Biscuit is in love with the Elf.  Some of the kids at his preschool have elves who have come to their house weeks ago.  He's excited that his house wasn't passed by. 

Supposed to be Elf lifting marshmallow weight.
Week two:  Biscuit HATES the elf.  I think he has decided Elf is a snitch.  He hasn't even tried to go look for it for three days.  After discussing this in depth with a girlfriend at happy hour, I decided to add a note component to the Elf saga.  I realize that a serious Elf discussion at happy hour is a pathetic waste of precious happy hour time.

Week three: Thanks to a note praising good behavior, the Elf is back in the Biscuit's good graces.  I accidentally placed the Elf in the same place twice which has led the Biscuit to decide we have 2 elves.  He spends his days trying to find both of them.  It gives me more time to read and prep for the Holidays. 

Week four:  I'm Elfed out.  Twice this week I had to rush in the morning to move Elf.  He's back to hanging on doorknobs and once I just threw him on the Biscuit's bed.  I'm going to save the rest of the Elf ideas for next year.  Biscuit also saw a huge display of Elf on the Shelf boxes at Target.  He asked if we BOUGHT our Elf.  I know that we will keep seeing the boxes so I admit that we did.  I said that Santa packages these little elves and people can buy them.  Santa knows that people might freak out if a small elf just showed up in their home.  I didn't realize that parenting could involve so many lies on the fly.  Elf left our house on Christmas eve leaving us with a box of comfy pajamas and a movie.  I've got until next year to hone my elf skills.

Do you do the new Elf tradition, what is your favorite thing you've done with Elf?  I'd love to hear about it below. 


kreinacher said...

My daughter wanted an elf a couple of years ago and I was able to keep her mind off of it until this year. She kept insisting, so I told her that if she wanted one, she would have to write a letter to Santa asking to adopt one. Her reply to this was just go to the store and buy one. My response was that Those weren't real elves and only Santa could send a real elf (slyly thinking this would get me off the hook for another year because what kid wants to spend their free time writing). Well, an hour later she appeared by my side with her letter. $25 later we now have an elf named Andy, who was"sent" to us on Thanksgiving Day. Great, one more thing I have to take care

Speech2U said...

Haha! I'm going to take a page from your book and have my little guy write out his demands from now on.

annied said...

You are soooooo funny. I bought an elf for the speech room, and we had a blast with it this year. A lot easier than having to deal with it at home. My kids are 15 and 13, now and were very helpful in planning the elf-ish antics at school.

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